We are adopting two adorable girls who have a little something extra, Down Syndrome!
We are excited to add them to our family.
We will use this blog to update family and friends on our adoption progress and fundraising efforts.
Just joining us? Click on the 2011 posts in the archive to find out why we are adopting the girls.

Question 4: How did you originally convince your husband to have an adoptive family?

Truthfully, I didn't have to.  My husband and I both knew we wanted to adopt special needs children before we ever met.  It was obviously part of our life calling from the beginning.  What can I say, I know we were meant to be together!  Who else would do the insane things we do ;)?

That being said, I have seen A LOT of hesitant husbands over the years.  We affectionately call it Reluctant Husband Syndrome or RHS.  You find it in most biological families and adoptive families when it comes to adding more children to the family.  It actually makes a lot of sense to me.  We all have different stewardships, even within a marriage.  I believe that God has given women the stewardship to grow and nurture her family.  I believe that He has called the husbands to provide for and protect their families.  Both are called to help one another in these divine responsibilities.  Yet, they are in many ways in conflict with one another.  When it is time to add to the family, the mother feels it first.  Why?  Because that is her stewardship.  This sends the husband into panic because it will mean more to provide for, more to protect, more responsibility, and in an effort to fulfill his stewardship, he says no.  He is just doing his job and she is just doing hers.  But, once you bring the Lord into the equation, there is no longer conflict.  Both parties KNOW the right answer.

So if you feel like the Lord is calling you to adopt and your spouse is suffering from RHS ;), bring the Lord into the conversation.  Go together to the place where you most easily feel the Spirit and pray together.  You will find all confusion melt away as the worries of the world will no longer matter.  God answers prayers and I know He will answer yours.  The key is being willing to accept it ;).

Note: The picture above is not my husband.  I just thought it was too perfect.


  1. Thanks for this post. It makes it all understandable with the stewardship outlined. Being LDS you'd think I would figure this out on my own, but having you lay it out is very helpful. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  2. That is a great way to put it. RHS syndrome seems to happen a lot. I know my husband's biggest concern was being able to emotionally support another child. He felt like with how much he is away from home that he was some how failing the ones he already had.

    Sometimes we all need to cut ourselves some slack and now that we do not have to be perfect to be good parents. We are always going to be flawed.

    Carlene's soon to be momma :)