Question 14: My husband and I are infertile and have been waiting to adopt for years, it doesn't seem fair that you have been able to adopt so many. Doesn't it seem like you are taking more than your share?
The reality is, that children like mine are desperately waiting for families. There are 135 million orphans in the world, there is no need to wait. So why are there so many couples waiting years to adopt? Usually it is because they are not open to children like mine. Sadly, they are missing out.
If you check out my post about the stats for adoption
http://extra-chromosomes.blogspot.com/2012/02/question-11-why-not-adopt-from-us.html you will see that for every healthy white newborn that comes available for adoption there are 35 waiting families. If you are open to children that are older, have special needs, have color, live in a different country, etc, you will find there is little to no wait to be matched with a child.
When I encounter people with this question, it usually becomes clear right away why they are waiting. It is always one of two things, 1) they are not open to the type of children that are waiting to be adopted, children similar to mine or 2) they just don't know how to find the children or they are scared because of misconceptions. If it is #2 then I am always thrilled to help! And if they have an open mind, they usually quickly have a new child in their home. If it is #1 all I can say is that I am not taking children you would be interested in anyway.
Imagine if you will two fields. One has a few fresh ripe strawberries. The other has tons big plump pumpkins. Imagine now that there are lots of people in the strawberry field, competing for the few strawberries. Does it make any sense at all that they are resentful and angry at the small handful of people in the pumpkin patch who have several pumpkins loaded into their cart? When the strawberry picking people start yelling hostile comments to the pumpkin picking people, the pumpkining people look confused and say, "There are plenty, come help us pick them." To which the strawberry people say, "Well, we are not open to pumpkins."
Children, unlike pumpkins and strawberries, are ALL precious, wonderful, blessings. They are all unique and lovable. Some children are more difficult then others, some are better suited with some families then others, but all are deserving of families and all have something wonderful to offer the world.
I do not believe that there is a loving family out there that cannot handle special needs. No way! It does not take any special qualifications to be a parent of a special needs child. Don't believe me? Look around at the biological families you know. I bet several got the overwhelming surprise of their lives when they gave birth to a special needs child. They did not have special qualifications, they learned, grew and adapted for the love of their child. Not all families can handle all special needs, but that does not mean that there are loving couples out there who cannot handle ANY special needs. In fact, I have yet to meet a perfect child. I believe every one of us has something wrong with us.
So my answer to this question is, if you would like to adopt special needs children similar to the ones I have in my family, AWESOME! You will find your life full of rewarding adventures and blessings. Here are some places to find children who need adoptive families:
But most importantly, go to the Lord. Go to Him with NO restrictions or conditions. Tell Him that you will bring home a 17 year old if that is His will and if that is who your child is supposed to be. And then listen to the answer and be willing to obey. I KNOW the Lord will guide you. He cares too deeply about children and families to not. You just need to be willing to hear the answer.