We are adopting two adorable girls who have a little something extra, Down Syndrome!
We are excited to add them to our family.
We will use this blog to update family and friends on our adoption progress and fundraising efforts.
Just joining us? Click on the 2011 posts in the archive to find out why we are adopting the girls.

Question 15: Wouldn't the tons of money spent on adoption be better spent on keeping biological families together?

This question assumes that the only, or at least the major reason children come available for adoption is poverty.  I don't know official stats on this, and I don't know every child who comes available for adoption's situation but I can tell you about my own kiddos.  None of them was money the real factor and throwing money at the problem would have solved little.

M & Z--They are twins and were adopted from Cambodia.  In Cambodia, twins are considered very unlucky.  They are said to be a curse to their families.  This belief could have been solidified by the fact that their dear birth mother died in child labor.  Being a single dad is hard enough.  Being a single dad to newborn premie twins in an area that store bought formula can be hard to obtain is even harder.  This was not a simple economic problem. 

E & N-- They are biological siblings adopted from Haiti.  Their birth mother was no longer with her husband and had the kids by another married man.  Their birth mother also has (from what I can tell in my interaction with her) significant learning disabilities.  We originally had an open adoption with her, but she became very abusive and out of line.  We decided that it was unsafe for our children to have any kind of interaction with her.  This was not a simple economic problem.

C--She was placed because her parents did not want a child with special needs.  They had lots of resources at their disposal and lots of offers of help.  This was not a simple economic problem.

T--Both of his birth parents are dead.  He had no extended relatives.  This was not a simple economic problem.

J--Was horrifically abused and neglected by his birth parents.  He was near death when we adopted him.  His parents were wealthy.  This was not a simple economic problem.

And the two girls we are adopting?  Nearly 100% of children with Down Syndrome in our girls' region are put into institutions by their birth family.  There is huge prejudice against those with special needs.  We have the same prejudice here in the US because 90% of babies here with Down Syndrome are aborted. 

Through my work with Special Angels Adoption, I have seen lots and lots of adoption situations.  It is very rare that a situation is purely a simple economic problem.  I totally agree that when possible, loving birth families should be kept together and there should be programs to encourage such.  One great agency that has awesome programs you can donate to in order to keep biological families together internationally is Holt.  But even though these programs are great and should be supported, there are children who cannot stay with their biological families for more reasons then just money.  The problems are much more complicated then that.


  1. Hi! Can you email me at barbara@trendsettermom.com to let me know what to have the local Knights of Columbus Ladies' Auxiliary write in the memo on their donation to Reece's Rainbow to ensure that it goes to bringing your girls home?

  2. They just need to write that the donation is for Alice and Mara or that it is for the Grove family. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!